3 years

3 years ago, tomorrow night.

I was at home with DH and Joey. I was on the computer browsing my TLOL (the labor of love) forums. Joey was just over a year old. I get a phone call from my sister. "Keven was hit by a car. We think he'll be alright though, because we think that he was able to give his info on how to find mom & Jack" (Jack is my step-dad).

Keven was my nephew. He had 3 brothers (1 older, 2 younger). Him and his older brother lived with my parents, who had custody of him. They were with them for about 4 years at this point. They were like my little brothers though, b/c for the most part they had been around us for a good portion of their lives.

Anyway, I digress. I got worried, but was thinking like my sister. "If he was able to give them his name and stuff, then he should be fine. Weird shit like this doesn't happen to my family".

My mom calls about 20 minutes later. She's semi-hysterical, trying to keep her composure while she explained stuff to me. Keven wasn't alright. He's not the reason the paramedics/cops got the contact info. The boy that was with Keven (the boy that he shouldn't have been w/b/c he was a bad influence :( ). Anyway, that boy had went to ANOTHER boys house after the accident (he didn't even STAY!). They are the one's who called the cops and gave them Keven's contact info, and that's how they found my parents.

When my mom called, they were about to wheel Keven into Barrows (BNI) to have brain surgery. He was on a bike and wasn't wearing a helmet. They were going to do what they could to save his life.

I panicked right then. I got sick and hysterical. I posted on TLOL asking for massive prayers. Hoping they'd work anyway. I called my MIL and asked her to take me to the hospital. When I got there, everybody was in a dark waiting room in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. There was a TV built into a tree at one end, and vending machine's on the other. My step-brother was there, with his long-time girlfriend. They were huddled together. My dad was at a table signing papers. My sister was outside smoking. My mom was curled up on a bench, wrapped in a blanket. She was shaking and sobbing. This wasn't going to be a fun night :(

By the time I got there, Keven was already in surgery. They were trying to relieve the pressure on his brain from the swelling. No other part of him got injured except a broken toe. If he had a helmet on, we wouldn't be going thru this.

We sat and waited. We cried and waited some more. His bio-mom (my step-sister) finally showed up about 6 hours LATER with my step-brother, and she was shit faced drunk. They stayed for all of about 30 minutes to watch Keven get baptised. They'd already told us that he wasn't going to make it.

They wanted to know if we wanted Kevens organs donated. We asked Thomas. My parents were letting him make the decision. Thomas was 14 years old (Keven was 13). Thomas said "Why are you asking me this!!! He's not even dead!!!" He was very, very upset. I sat with him and explained to him why we needed to know what to do. That there may be some little boy or little girl in that very hospital, or in the city, state, country who was going to die but the only thing that would save them was Kevens heart. Or his lungs. Or a little kid or adult that could see again because they got eye tissue. I told him that Keven was, for all intents and purposes, gone. That in going, he could save somebody else. Give another kid a chance to live longer, give them a chance at life. He agreed.

After that, we all took turns sitting with Keven. I distinctly remember being in there with him. What he looked like. For several hours we sat with him. We held his hand, we talked to him. Sometimes I still have nightmares about what I saw. Ya know, to me, he looked giant. He'd gotten to be such a big guy. He would have probably been over 6 feet tall, like Thomas has grown to be. He was bloated, badly. His head was shaved because of the surgery. There was bandages and tubes all over his head. Blood oozing from the sides. His face was horribly distorted. His eyes were swollen shut, but swollen so bad they almost looked like they were going to pop right out of his head. He had breathing tubes in. He was on life support so there were all those crazy machines around him. Beeping. Pumping. Breathing.

He was wrapped up in some sort of thick gauze, or a blanket or something. I just remember it was thick and kinda rough. I think they were using it to keep his body warm. When I touched his hand for the first time I half expected it to be cold. I'd never been around a dead person before. It was warm. Warm and soft. I sobbed uncontrollably. I can't even begin to explain the feelings that I had when I stood there. My sister and I just held each other. My mom wouldn't go in, and she didn't want to be touched or talked to. She was in a trance. Jack just kept signing papers. His grandson was dying and they kept handing him paperwork.

My sister and I went out and smoked a lot. We both went thru over a pack of cigarettes. I was hungry, so I ate some chicken fingers from the cafeteria. Then I threw it up. I had a pounding migrane. We walked down to a Burger King at one point, Actually I think that's one of the first things we did when we got there. Got everybody some dinner.

The boy who was with Keven when he got hit showed up with his mother and another friend of theirs. That poor boy. Even at the funeral, he couldn't bring himself to go in. He was hysterical in the parking lot. "It's my fault. Keven wouldn't be dead if I hadn't made him come with me. It's my fault!". I had to hug him. Tell him that Keven was in a way better place now. Now (and I've said this several times since then)....Keven's in a place where he's the smartest. He the most popular. He has the most friends. He gets the best grades. He's the best artist. If he had lived, and I guarantee you this - his life would have been miserable.

Keven passed away at 3:00am on the 15th of October. His organs were donated and he saved the lives of 3 people.

I support wearing bicycle helmets and organ & tissue donation.

Bye Keven :(

Ootsie!!

Good intentions right? I keep meaning to update, but I'm just too damn lazy.

"Ootsie" would be Joey's word for "oopsie" nowadays. trying to get him to say it right, it just won't come out right, lol.

He's been on intersession for almost 2 weeks from school. I think he's getting a bit too comfortable on his vacation and will probably be really pissed when he realizes that he has to go back on Monday, lol. Although, Monday they are also having their very first field trip, and I get to go with! It's at the Arizona State Fair, and I kinda wanted to take Joey anyway. This way we get in for free. I'm wondering how many kids I'll be in charge of though :/ I'm gonna ask if Joey and I can ditch them before the bus ride home, and I'll take him home on the city bus, so that we can spend the time together.

He had an ear infection late last week. I took him to the ER to get checked out because he had been screaming about his ear for like 4 hours. He hadn't had an ear infection for over a year, so I was shocked. Went to the ER, they checked us into Urgent Care, and the doctor says "nope, not a thing wrong. Perfectly fine."...so we leave. A few hours later, he wakes up from his nap with a ton of puss draining from his ears!! *ICK!!!* So I call the Urgent Care back and they had the balls to tell me that I was wrong, because "We looked in his ears and didn't find anything wrong with them.". I was like "Ummmm....so you mean to tell me that all this crap running out of his ears is a figment of my imagination???????". So we go BACK to the ER/UC. We sat there for 2.5 hours and they hadn't even triaged us yet, so I said 'forget it' and we left. I figure that whatever it was, it was leaving his body. We got him some decongestant and some motrin to knock him out with, and he's been pretty much okay since. Just some more drainage for a few more days afterwards.

I went to a crop on Saturday w/my mom at Recollections. She brought her newbie friend Betty (she's so cute!), and a guy named Gary from work. It was my first time meeting him, and he was pretty cool. I got a whole 2 - count 'em TWO pages done! Oh, and 2 quickie cards too....gotta get pics of those :/. That is a really nice store. Some of the LSS's around here, I like them b/c of they products they carry, but the 'atmosphere' leaves a lot to be desired. Not all, but some. Just snotty folks, make you feel unworthy or unwelcomed or both there. Hey, I might be white trash, but my money is green just like the rest of the worlds - and I work damn hard for my money too! (She works hard for it honey! She works hard for her money so you better treat her right!) LOL

I'm waiting on pins and needles waiting for Jamie to have her baby. She was due yesterday (10/12) and still nothing yet! Joshua is going to be a big baby, I'm sure!!!

Met Barry Goldwater's nephew today at work. Actually, I guess you could say that I already knew him b/c him and this other guy (I call him "big guy" b/c he's a BIG guy!), they are regulars of mine, I get them once or twice a week. He says to me "My middle name is Harrington!" (which is my last name), and whipped out his ID to show me, lol. I see the "Goldwater" and I was like "Goldwater? Like the Goldwater Goldwater's? Like the Barry and Goldwater?" LOL (I'm good with words :D ). And he's all "Yup, that's my uncle!". I thought that was pretty neat :D (I'm not a political person, but being a Native Zonie I know who BG is :D )

Oh, and Big Guy asked me who I was going to vote for (see above comment). I told him "I'm probably not going to vote, but mostly because I'm too lazy. If I was going to vote, I'd probably vote for George. Not necessarily because I agree with his stuff, or vice versa for Kerry, but because I think that George is the better looking of the 2. My vote would be based purely on physical attraction alone and nothing more. Kerry looks like he's had his head smashed in a door one too many times. Not my kind of look"

My sister just called. First day at her new job - well, first day after training. It was the grand opening of the place, a Wine Bar. She made $80 on 6 tables in 5 hours. I've made $80 in 4 hours before but that was on 50 tables and I was running my ass off. Today I worked 8 hours and only made $51 and served over 80 people. Jerks. I want her job.