I don't demean your job......

so don't demean mine!

I'm sick and tired of these truck drivers sitting up at the counter, or when I'm standing in line at the store - complaining about the place! And not just the place - about the employees.

1) "God, are they killing the fucking cow back there?"
Well, for one thing - you're not the only person in this restaurant - if you haven't noticed there are over 100 people in here too - and the cook is only one person.

2) "You girls have it good. You just stand around here all day and make money"
Okay - I'd LOVE to see you get off your fat ass for a day and do my job! You could NEVER do it. Hell, we can barely keep waitresses as it is because it's so hard. And when you assholes are dropping 50cents for a $20 meal - we're not making all that much money! Cheap mother fuckers.

It just goes on and on. One said to me today "Well, try doing OUR job for a day"...and I said to him "Yeah, I'd love to be sitting on my can all day long making fun of somebody who's busting her ass trying to pay bills and care for her child. That would just make my day! And YOU can run around here filling up coffee cups, get sexually harassed, made fun of, and yelled at for no reason other than the customer is a fucking prick. Would Love it!"

The End

Oh yeah, another server bit the dust.........that's down 7 in 9 days....got waitress? We don't!

The longest day ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey and I left at 7am to go to my work. I had a meeting at 9am. We got there at about 7:45am, and then ate some breakfast to kill time. So, at 9 we go back. One other girl shows up, and 20 minutes later another one (she had to drop her hubby at work, blah blah). Anyway, a whole 3 of us show up to this MANDATORY meeting. Apparently there's a big group o'girls that don't value their jobs - ya think? So he says "I've been planning this meeting for several days, thinking of what I was going to say, jotting down notes. Unfortunately you're the only 3 people I DON'T need to direct this to. You may go". *sigh*

Then I had to get a TCH check to get money from my account. We get paid thru a payroll card. My card I *thought* was lost (it wasn't, found it 4 hours later) and I had cancelled it and ordered a new one. Supposedly they've sent it 3 different times over the last 5 weeks and I haven't recieved not ONE Of them. But what I can do is call them and get them to transfer the money from my card onto a check that I can cash right at the fuel desk. The last time I did this, 2 paydays ago, it took all of 5 minutes. Today it took an HOUR AND A HALF - 9 people, 4 hang ups, and my BOSS calling to get the farking money! UGH. All for $290!!

Since that took so long, I had missed the bus to go to my eye appointment, so Martha gave us a ride. She has the cutest little 6 month old baby girl (Briana), but Joey HATES babies. evertime she made a noise he'd cover his ears and yell "That baby is making too much noise and giving me a headache!!" LOL

Went to my eye appointment. Eyes are bad. Got glasses ordered. Told them "No bells and whistles - I won't rub them on the concrete - don't need scratch resistent coating - I don't go outside during the day; don't need sunglasses - my face is fat - polycarbinate won't make a difference". $69.95 later, my glasses will be back in 7-10 business days.

Then we hit gameworks. They had a sale; buy 2 get 1 free on the used games. Joey got Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly (he loooooooooooves spryo!), and I got The Sims and Harvest Moon. Total $33.

THEN we hit McD's where I crocheted and Joey played Sonic on the xbox thingy. THEN I hit Joanns for some more yarn. Got some kickass dark blue verigated boucille - Joann's brand for $7.99/11oz. Also (2) 1lb skeins of baby yarn for a couple more blankets. Have 2 I have to make after I finish Joey's (which I haven't started yet. I fell asleep last night really early and didn't get the other baby blanket finished, lol)

Now I'm home. It was 2:50pm when we walked in the door. I hate my days off :(

My Aunt Sue emailed me.....

I *heart* my Aunt Sue. She's cool, even if she does have a mullet.

Anyway, I got an email from her this morning with a picture that I had forgot was taken.

Ya see, when I was in Atlanta, I called my mom to check on the boy. She told me that she had just gotten a call from my paternal grandmother that my father was sick. He was diagnosed with Hotckins Lynphoma (sp?)...that's what my grandma told her, and that he was living in a hospice in Tucson. I did get really upset, but why, I'm not sure. I hadn't seen him since I was 8 years old, and we left him when I was 6 (mom picked him up hitchiking 2 years later, spent the day together, and then she dropped him back off where she found him). I'd spoke to him twice since then - once when I was 20, and again when I was preggers with the boy (24?). That's it. That's the only contact we've had.

When I was younger, I wanted contact, but he was in and out of jail and who knows where. As I got older, fuck him. I didn't care. If he didn't care, I didn't care. I even told him the last time he called "You are not my father. Jack is my father. You are dead to me. Do not ever speak of me or think of me. I'm just as dead to you as you are to me". He never called again. (ps: he was drunk and doing this stupid 'whisper' thing in the phone that i hated when i was a little girl - brought back bad memories and makes me sick to hear him talk like that).

So, I had a nervous breakdown in Georgia (with the help of some MGD). I didn't know what I was going to do. Should I go see him in Tucson, so there'd be some closure? Should I ignore the situation? Afterall, he only had about 8 weeks to live. I didn't know what to do. I decided to ignore the situation.

On March 5th, my mom picked me up from work. She told me that Sue wanted me to call her as soon as I got home. My mom said that Sue and my Aunt Ricky (from New Mexico), were in Tucson with my dad. They wanted to bring him up here to see me. *twitch* Well, I thought....Maybe I can think on this for a few days. Surely they'll stay in Tucson with him until I give word??? So I get home, eat my Sonic, watch DOOL from the day before....at around 8pm I finally call her.

They weren't in Tucson.

They were at her house.

Insert massive nervous breakdown. Lasted about 4 hours and I had to take some pill from my mom to calm me. I slept on it, and decided that I would go. Of course, my mom wouldn't go. My sister didn't want to go either. She said "I don't even remember him, why would I want my only memory of him to be dying?" She was just barely 3 when we left (August 8, 1982).

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Now I'm going to interject for a moment as to why the distance from my dad, other than a divorce. He was an alcoholic and a junkie. He was addicted to heroin, speed, blah blah blah. He drank like a fish. Smoked pot - and that in and of itself ain't so bad, but when you have your 4 year old daughter rolling up for you - it's very bad. I vaguely remember him beating my mother, but I'm not positive on that. He had (has?) Rage epilepsy related to drug addiction withdrawl. Once tried killing my maternal grandmother by chasing her up a ladder and throwing her out of the attic for no reason. He was also diagnosed schytzophrenic(sp?) when I was a kid. He's a boatload of problems and a Jerry Springer episode gone bad.

He was in and out of jail when we were still with him. When I was about 10'ish or so, he was arrested and jailed for manslaughter. Not sure how he killed the guy, but was told it was in like a bar brawl. Probably beat him to death. He was in Perryville for like 5 years. I remember throwing a fit when I was 16 that he got out.
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Fast forward to 2005.

I go to my aunts. I was kinda relieved to find a WHOLE BUNCH of my relatives there. My grandparents, both my aunts, all their kids, and even a mess of my cousins. That made it less stressfull - even though my mom dropped me off 4 blocks away because she wanted to stay as far as possible from him, lol.

I walked in, and saw my aunt and ran at her. I was hysterical. She told me he was asleep in the bedroom and she'd wake him. I went outside with my family. About 10 minutes later he walked out. They all got up and went inside and left us alone outside.

My dad is tall, about 6' 4". He weighed all of about 115-120lbs. He was very sick. Turns out it's NON-hotchkins Lynphoma - don't know the difference, but this one is killing him. He was diagnosed about 3.5 months ago and by the time they found it, it was too late for any kind of treatment...so he's gonna die.

We talked for a few hours. I think I was over there for about 5 hours total, and 3 of that spent outside with him. Mostly bs'ing. He's delusional still, so I knew to take a bunch of what he said with a grain of salt (ie: shooting guns in Nam - he was never in Nam. He didn't even join the service until AFTER Nam and then had a medical discharge before he got out of bootcamp b/c of a bad knee). He's not living in a hospice, he's still homeless, living in his car. I guess he gets VA checks everymonth so he's not starving or anything, and he's got nice, clean clothes. He even talked about his DVD collection (watches them at other peoples houses, lol). He's homeless by choice. My aunt & grandma told him to come stay with them (grandparents live in Flagstaff), and he told them no. That it would be a waste of his time because he didn't have much time left.

I took him 3 of my scrapbooks, and one of my mothers. Showed him pictures of his 2 grandsons. Filled him in on everything in our lives; my husband, work, my sisters life, my mom getting married, etc. My mom printed out a few pictures of the boys for him to keep. I didn't want to involve Joey in any of this - why intro him to a grandfather he doesn't know exists only to have him disappear again in a few weeks? Ya know?

All in all, I'm glad I did it. I think it cleared my karma or something and maybe it'll hold off on me going to hell anytime soon. I think I will cry when I find out he's dead. Heck, I'm about tearing up now just typing this whole thing out. I'm not hysterical like I was before though - because I DID have closure.

Despite how bad he fucked up our lives, we all turned out pretty okay.

Jeepers Creepers...what happened to my peepers!

I'm soooooooo old. I used to have GREAT vision. I could see street signs from half a mile away - no joke! Then I gave birth. Not only did that child suck the life from me, but my vision has just gotten worse and worse. I got glasses about 3 years ago. I didn't realize how bad my eyes were until I got them there glasses. But I sucked at wearing them. Mostly because the frames were so uncomfortable. I'm lucky if I wore them once a month :( I just couldn't afford to go and get new one's, ya know?

Anyway, last night I was on the couch watching TV and I glanced down at the cable box to see what time it was - and i couldn't see it :( I mean, we're talking a large digital clock that's not 9 feet away from me. So, I caved and made an apointment at America's Best for tomorrow. I had put my glasses on and I'm guessing my prescription changed, because that didn't help. Maybe if I would have worn them like I was supposed to, huh?

So, I'll go tomorrow and pay my $69.95 for 2 pairs. I won't let them talk me into all the bells and whistles though, because I don't need nor can afford them.

Tomorrow is my day off but I have to go in at 9am for a stupid meeting. Don't know why since we have no staff left,lol. I have to take Joey with me though, b/c I'm not going to fork out another $15 for a babysitter when I really don't need it.

I never got around to watching DOOL last night so I'll watch 2 epi's today. I haven't eaten all day today, except a little jerky stick that one of my mangers gave me. We got so slammed at work today that I didn't get a break until 2 hours before my shift ended and then I just wasn't in the mood to eat. I made spaghetti last night and had a dish to bring with me to work, but forgot it in the fridge *irked*.

I'm going to finish up that baby blanket tonight. And I *think* I might swing by Home Depot or Lowes tomorrow to get a 1/2 gallon paint can to put it in when I mail it. THEN I have start on Joey's before he has an anuerism.

Thank you, bye :)

Anybody need a job?

We had 3 more waitresses quit today. That makes 5 in a week. An they're all the "older" crew (more than 6 months, lol). At least this way those night girls who want day shifts will be able to move over, lol. Sucks for the rest of us though b/c it screws with our schedules.

No real buttholes to speak of today. It was really slow, and including what I paid the babysitter and credit card tips from Sunday, I made all of $68. I was hoping to hit at least $100 so I could cover my arse for buying those DVD's yesterday, lol

Nothing more to say. Gonna go watch DOOL now and see if the day changed....probably not, lol.

I hate Mondays!!

Okay, so I don't totally *hate* them perse. Ya see, I get 2 days off a week, but they are split - Mondays & Thursdays (because of Joey & school and stuff). So it's like I spend my whole day off trying to get caught up on crap like shopping, errands, and laundry and then I have to go back to work the next day and do it ALL OVER AGAIN.

Today I woke up with a massive headache. I spring cleaned the kitchen & living room (was up late doing the bathroom and the boys room last night). I felt like crap. Then I realized it was because i hadn't eaten since SATURDAY! OMG...So we went out to breakfast at my work. Joey really wanted some panty-cakes from the Flying J. I had a steak and tater.

Tried to take a nap but Joey came in and tried to force feed me playdough food that he made with his George Forman. So I decided I should do my laundry so I wasn't in the laundry room during another driveby shooting, ROFL (happened 2 weeks ago when I was in there, lol). Laundry's all done and I got 7 rows done on the baby blanket.

Oh yeah, I bought The Terminal and Garden State at Blockbuster today. Haven't seen either one, so I'm interested in if they're good or not. DH got a new PS2 game though, so he's hogging the bedroom. So I'll watch todays DOOL and crochet.

I did have to scrap the other night for the SWS Honorary DT thingy Page 1 Page 2