About Brianna
This is a long one...
I met DH in 1994, moved in with him shortly after. He was good friends with the couple just behind us (apartment), Mike & Jean. Jean was about 5 months pregnant when I met her in July of 1994. Both of them were druggies. They were also big-time tweakers (I never did the stuff, and DH hadn't in a while). Jean managed to stop using tweak while she was pregnant...which is good I suppose, but between the both of them they smoked nearly or more than a quarter of weed a day. I felt bad for that baby.
Briana was born in December, I think. I can't remember exactly. Everything went fine, she was carried to term, nothing wrong with the baby. They moved right around that time, so we didn't see them that often after that, just once every couple weeks or so. We'd go over there, or they'd come to our apartment.
They came to our wedding reception (had a private JP ceremony), in May of 1995. Briana was about 6 months old or so at the time. I have a picture of her, her mom picking her up out of her stroller, from our reception.
Again, we only saw them periodically. Both were back on tweak again after she was born...that poor kid.
On Valentines Day 1996 they stopped over. I thought Jean was looking kinda chunky. I was hoping she was off the tweak, but didn't want to mention anything for fear of sounding rude. Turns out she was 6 months pregnant, and it was going to be a boy. Mike was sooooooooo excited! Briana was just over a year at this point.
6 weeks later, we get a phone call from Mike. "Hi, I just wanted to let you know that Jean killed herself 2 weeks ago". And hung up. She killed herself and her unborn baby. A baby that would probably have lived and grown up 'normal' if he had been born then. Why? Because she was a drug addict. She was a selfish bitch.
She took the life of her baby, took her own life, left her little baby girl without a mother because she couldn't 'handle not being high' - in the words of note.
After that, Mike took a turn for the worse. He moved in with his parents. They both (mike & brianna) received Social Security Checks, in a kinda high amount because Jean was Native American (Navajo). At one point, Mike was using it all on tweak and heroin. His parents kicked him out, and got permanent custody of Brianna. There was actually a fight over her between them and the Navajo Nation. Personally - I think the Nation should have gotten custody (grandparents are alcoholics - nice, caring people, but addicts nonetheless).
Mike started talking to himself, hearing voices. Convinced himself that he was an alien, and had little 3 year old Bri believing it as well - I mean c'mon, she was only 3. She would have believed that she hatched from a horse egg if you told her.
Mike had completely lost his mind. Late 1997 was the last time we saw Mike for a while. He went to Sedona to find his roots (alien spacecraft, etc...). It's really hard to explain his behavior, but it was extreme - as well as odd, very odd.
He showed back up on July 3, 2000, just a few days after I had my baby. He showed up wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, flip-flops, and some sort of hooded cape deal. It was the 'ceremonial costume of his people'. Mind you, this is a blonde white stoner...nothing 'his people' about him.
Every 6 months or show, Mike shows up. Sometimes, we don't even know how he finds us. We've moved several times, and there he is (Makes me wonder if he does have some sort of anal probe or alien installed GPS). He never really talks about Brianna.
I wanted to know about her. I remembered changing her diapers, playing in her room with her when she was about 3. She was an adorable kid. Took after her mother - can totally tell she's Navajo.
Yesterday was Mike's day to show up, but he came and went. We're pretty sure that he's suffering from schytzophrenia(sp?) because of the way he was acting last time. Talking to himself, having arguments. And not the usually "Oh duh, Erin, What were you thinking!" *smack yourself upside the head* kind of talking to yourself. He was having CONVERSATIONS and ARGUMENTS with HIMSELF. For 40 minutes he sat in the middle of the floor, laughing, making noises, chatting...it was scary. We were afraid to ask him to leave. He's never been minutely violent - but you never know. Anyway, Yesterday Dh got rid of him really quick...told him we were waiting for MIL to pick us up or something.
So today, I'm sitting on the porch, smoking. I hear footsteps and look up. Dh walks out just then and we froze. Here came Mike, walking up the sidewalk, with Jean. No, wait...Jean's dead. OMG...Brianna looks exactly like her mother. We couldn't stop staring.
*crying for her here*
She was beautiful. Had very long, raven black hair. Beautiful face and eyes. I wish I could have takena picture. She was very quiet. Had her little MP3 player with her...went and sat on the sidewalk while she waited for her dad.
Dh had to go to the mall, and they were on their way there so he rode with on the bus. It turns out that Brianna is a video game champion. She's been playing since she was 3, and flies all around the country to competitions, and is about to do another one this weekend or something.
I thought that was really cool. But then we both thought that it was very, very, sad.
See, Joey's a little video game freak too. He's been playing since he was 2.5 (actually started off on the game that Brianna did, lol). We don't like him to play a lot because his brain will turn to pudding (he really thinks that), and he needs to learn to relate to the real world. So his time is very limited. Maybe 30 minutes a night, if he's lucky, a bit more on the weekends....and just a few times a week (He hates that, but he hasn't died yet from it).
I digress..
We think it's very sad, that this little girl - who's not even 11 yet - seems to spend every waking moment on a video game. DH said she whipped out one of those new Playstation things on the bus (What...$250?....her SSI check is to do with what she pleases...). But that she was forced to turn too - or chose to, who knows - vide games to basically drown out her life. She's virtually an orphan. She's living with 2 people in their late 60's, who weren't really healthy when I knew them 10 years ago. Her father might as well be non-existent, or get beamed up by those Aliens of his. And her mother didn't love her enough to want to live.
I'm very sad for her, and just want to cry and cry.
I met DH in 1994, moved in with him shortly after. He was good friends with the couple just behind us (apartment), Mike & Jean. Jean was about 5 months pregnant when I met her in July of 1994. Both of them were druggies. They were also big-time tweakers (I never did the stuff, and DH hadn't in a while). Jean managed to stop using tweak while she was pregnant...which is good I suppose, but between the both of them they smoked nearly or more than a quarter of weed a day. I felt bad for that baby.
Briana was born in December, I think. I can't remember exactly. Everything went fine, she was carried to term, nothing wrong with the baby. They moved right around that time, so we didn't see them that often after that, just once every couple weeks or so. We'd go over there, or they'd come to our apartment.
They came to our wedding reception (had a private JP ceremony), in May of 1995. Briana was about 6 months old or so at the time. I have a picture of her, her mom picking her up out of her stroller, from our reception.
Again, we only saw them periodically. Both were back on tweak again after she was born...that poor kid.
On Valentines Day 1996 they stopped over. I thought Jean was looking kinda chunky. I was hoping she was off the tweak, but didn't want to mention anything for fear of sounding rude. Turns out she was 6 months pregnant, and it was going to be a boy. Mike was sooooooooo excited! Briana was just over a year at this point.
6 weeks later, we get a phone call from Mike. "Hi, I just wanted to let you know that Jean killed herself 2 weeks ago". And hung up. She killed herself and her unborn baby. A baby that would probably have lived and grown up 'normal' if he had been born then. Why? Because she was a drug addict. She was a selfish bitch.
She took the life of her baby, took her own life, left her little baby girl without a mother because she couldn't 'handle not being high' - in the words of note.
After that, Mike took a turn for the worse. He moved in with his parents. They both (mike & brianna) received Social Security Checks, in a kinda high amount because Jean was Native American (Navajo). At one point, Mike was using it all on tweak and heroin. His parents kicked him out, and got permanent custody of Brianna. There was actually a fight over her between them and the Navajo Nation. Personally - I think the Nation should have gotten custody (grandparents are alcoholics - nice, caring people, but addicts nonetheless).
Mike started talking to himself, hearing voices. Convinced himself that he was an alien, and had little 3 year old Bri believing it as well - I mean c'mon, she was only 3. She would have believed that she hatched from a horse egg if you told her.
Mike had completely lost his mind. Late 1997 was the last time we saw Mike for a while. He went to Sedona to find his roots (alien spacecraft, etc...). It's really hard to explain his behavior, but it was extreme - as well as odd, very odd.
He showed back up on July 3, 2000, just a few days after I had my baby. He showed up wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, flip-flops, and some sort of hooded cape deal. It was the 'ceremonial costume of his people'. Mind you, this is a blonde white stoner...nothing 'his people' about him.
Every 6 months or show, Mike shows up. Sometimes, we don't even know how he finds us. We've moved several times, and there he is (Makes me wonder if he does have some sort of anal probe or alien installed GPS). He never really talks about Brianna.
I wanted to know about her. I remembered changing her diapers, playing in her room with her when she was about 3. She was an adorable kid. Took after her mother - can totally tell she's Navajo.
Yesterday was Mike's day to show up, but he came and went. We're pretty sure that he's suffering from schytzophrenia(sp?) because of the way he was acting last time. Talking to himself, having arguments. And not the usually "Oh duh, Erin, What were you thinking!" *smack yourself upside the head* kind of talking to yourself. He was having CONVERSATIONS and ARGUMENTS with HIMSELF. For 40 minutes he sat in the middle of the floor, laughing, making noises, chatting...it was scary. We were afraid to ask him to leave. He's never been minutely violent - but you never know. Anyway, Yesterday Dh got rid of him really quick...told him we were waiting for MIL to pick us up or something.
So today, I'm sitting on the porch, smoking. I hear footsteps and look up. Dh walks out just then and we froze. Here came Mike, walking up the sidewalk, with Jean. No, wait...Jean's dead. OMG...Brianna looks exactly like her mother. We couldn't stop staring.
*crying for her here*
She was beautiful. Had very long, raven black hair. Beautiful face and eyes. I wish I could have takena picture. She was very quiet. Had her little MP3 player with her...went and sat on the sidewalk while she waited for her dad.
Dh had to go to the mall, and they were on their way there so he rode with on the bus. It turns out that Brianna is a video game champion. She's been playing since she was 3, and flies all around the country to competitions, and is about to do another one this weekend or something.
I thought that was really cool. But then we both thought that it was very, very, sad.
See, Joey's a little video game freak too. He's been playing since he was 2.5 (actually started off on the game that Brianna did, lol). We don't like him to play a lot because his brain will turn to pudding (he really thinks that), and he needs to learn to relate to the real world. So his time is very limited. Maybe 30 minutes a night, if he's lucky, a bit more on the weekends....and just a few times a week (He hates that, but he hasn't died yet from it).
I digress..
We think it's very sad, that this little girl - who's not even 11 yet - seems to spend every waking moment on a video game. DH said she whipped out one of those new Playstation things on the bus (What...$250?....her SSI check is to do with what she pleases...). But that she was forced to turn too - or chose to, who knows - vide games to basically drown out her life. She's virtually an orphan. She's living with 2 people in their late 60's, who weren't really healthy when I knew them 10 years ago. Her father might as well be non-existent, or get beamed up by those Aliens of his. And her mother didn't love her enough to want to live.
I'm very sad for her, and just want to cry and cry.
posted by The Erin at 7:24 PM
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